Calling telemarketers "Honey"

I'm sick. If you're reading the Chicken Adventure blog you know that already.

This afternoon, I went back to bed to get some rest, and just as I had fallen asleep the phone rang. In my flu and sleep fog I heard, "Is this Joanne Brokaw? This is Dave Hollister from tne New York State police ..." or park police ... or something like that.

My brain was in automatic mode; thinking it was a call to try and get me to donate money, I croaked, "Honey, I'm sick." And hung up.

When I woke up three hours, I sort of remembered the call, and realized that maybe it wasn't a call for money. They asked for me; usually they ask for David. David thought maybe it was about my pistol permit application- oh crap! - but he would have asked for Elizabeth.

Oh crap, maybe someone is hurt! Maybe there was an emergency and someone needed me! Maybe he's the publisher of a statewide magazine for police and he wants me to write an article! And I called him "Honey" and hung up on him!

Or maybe he's just asking for money.

So Dave Hollister, if you're calling about my pistol permit, or you need me to write an article, or had some very important, legitimate reason for calling, please forgive me for calling you "Honey" and hanging up on you.

If you were calling to ask for money, then I just apologize for calling you "Honey."

Postscript: The name "Dave Hollister" sounds familiar, and so I got to thinking that maybe he was a friend of Cassie's and something had happened to her!! She did call me this morning with some problem about ... I think it was her dog eating potpourri ... or something. Oh no! What if she's in trouble? I seem to remember telling her the same thing when she called - "I'm sick" - and hanging up on her, too. (It was 7:30 AM and I am sick, so I probably didn't call her "Honey." What can I say?) I called her. She's fine, taking a nap actually at my mom's. Phew.

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Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize, and I get a Pulitzer for a book I'm thinking about writing

I woke up this morning to news that President Barak Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize, and immediately thought that NASA's attempt to bomb the moon has turned the earth on its axis and sent us into an alternate reality.

Barak Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize ... for what?

The general consensus is that it was awarded for his aspirations towards ending nuclear armament rather than any actual success in that arena. (Or any arena, for that matter.)

The news outlets are reporting that when he was awakened with the news this morning, his response was that he was humbled to be selected, but let's be honest. His response was probably the same as the rest of us: "You're shi*tting me, right?"

Maybe they felt bad that he lost his bid to hold the 2016 Olympics in Chicago and didn't want him to cry. Either that, or the Nobel committee was drunk when they voted. Polish President Lech Walesa, a 1983 Nobel Peace laureate, was quoted in a Fox News story:

"So soon? Too early. He has no contribution so far. He is still at an early stage. He is only beginning to act. This is probably an encouragement for him to act. Let's see if he perseveres. Let's give him time to act."

Translation: "You're sh*tting me."

While the Nobel committee can't release the names of this year's nominees until 50 years after the prize is awarded, it's believed that the list included Denis Mukwege, the doctor who founded founded the Panzi hospital in the Democratic Republic of Congo, where he helps women who have been sexually abused. As of last October, Dr. Mukwege had treated 21,000 women suffering from devastating gynecological injuries as a result of rape in Congo's brutal war.

And Obama wins?

(Hey, what about Bono? Isn't it time he got the official Nobel nod? Despite the fact that Bono was awarded a "Man of Peace" award in 2008 by the Nobel Committee, that isn't the Nobel Peace Prize; that award went to Finland's Martti Ahtisaari that year. But I digress.)

Awarding a major international award to a man who hasn't accomplished anything even remotely measurable - nothing in his years in Congress, nothing in his first months in office (unless you count borrowing a gazillion dollars from China, in which case maybe he should have gotten the prize in economics), nothing in any way that would even hint at a nomination - is surreal.

It's like awarding me a Pulitzer for a book I'm thinking about writing. Everyone thinks it's a great book idea; all I need to do is actually write it. In which case it may or may not even be readable, let alone a success.

Hey, maybe there's a chance I could win the Pulitzer!

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Adventures in farm markets

I headed out this morning to Vercruysse Farm Market to get some produce. Well, at least see what kind of produce they had.

I love going to their booth at the Public Market, and figured it would be good to go right to the farm market since I can't always make it downtown on Saturday mornings (and hate dealing with the traffic).

I looked on Yahoo maps for the address, which I didn't write down, and headed out. It didn't seem too difficult: right up 441 to Monroe Wayne County TL Rd, turn left, and if I got to Atlantic I went too far. Piece of cake.

Over an hour later, I was still looking for it. Problem is, you can't turn left on to the Monroe Wayne County TL Rd. I knew that I didn't want to turn right, so I turned around and went back on 441 to see if I missed a turn. Nothing.

So I called 411 to get the phone number, which rang to a machine. No answer.

So I turned right on to Monroe Wayne County TL Rd and hoped for the best. I was tired of driving around.

No luck. I knew I was headed back home, but I hit construction and had to use backroads to get back to ER.

In the end, I just went to the Pittsford Dairy and got milk and eggs (and pizza crusts; they looked fresh), then to Wegs for a few things and came home.

Looking at the map again, I realize now that I was just minutes away from the farm market. Even though the map keeps saying you can turn left onto Monroe Wayne County TL Rd, I couldn't find it for the life of me. But I could have gotten there by just taking another street.

Just goes to show: you need to print out the map, not just try and memorize it.

Watch "The Wizard of Oz" on Netflix today for free

Here's some fun news:

Netflix, Inc., the world's largest online movie rental service, today announced that it will invite America to a free and commercially uninterrupted online screening of the newly restored 1939 classic, "The Wizard of Oz," on Saturday, October 3, 2009. The film, celebrating its 70th anniversary this year and reissued earlier this month by Warner Bros. Home Entertainment Group, can be instantly streamed for free for 24 hours, from 9:00 a.m. Eastern Time on
Saturday, October 3 to 9:00 a.m. Eastern the following day, by visiting www.netflix.com/wizardofoz.

I remember as a kid waiting for the one time a year when the movie would be aired on TV. It was a big event - us kids in our jammies sharing a bowl of popcorn, blankets over our heads when the flying monkeys appeared.

Nowadays, you can watch "The Wizard of Oz" anytime you want, which takes away the "specialness" of the movie. I bought a copy of the film on DVD a few years ago, and it sits unopened on a shelf.

While I love the ability to watch movies anytime I want, I do miss the way that limiting access made some movies more of an event. When we can have something anytime we want, we take it for granted. There's something special about sharing a movie experience with other people, like when the film was on TV just once a year and everyone you knew was watching.

So maybe today I'll join thousands of other movie lovers and watch "The Wizard of Oz" on netflix, and take a shared trip down memory lane.