I'm trying to decide if it's a good or bad idea to have dreams and goals. I suppose if they're God given, it's good, but even God-given dreams can kill you.

I just finished reading Phil Vischer's book, "Me, Myself and Bob" (read the review) and it got me thinking about my own goals.

I really want to write a book. I'm in this writing group and most of the writers who joined at the same time I did have books. I look through the publishing house cataloge and see familiar names and think, "Yeesh, what have I been doing with myself? I'm such a loser."

Of course, not all of these books are good. Some of them are. But some of them are simply vehicles that open doors to speaking engagements, more book contracts, and status. Not really readable, but more like a validation that indeed, the author is a writer.

I, on the other hand, piddle away at the PC, play with the dog, and generally live my writing life day by day.

Not that I don't have success stories of my own. I've had a cover story in Breakaway Magazine. I write a monthly column in ByLine Magazine. One of my articles is being reprinted this spring in a Max Lucado book.

But I've never written my own book.

Not that I don't have ideas. Oh, I have ideas, my friends. Ideas out my ears. It's just that when I sit down to write a book it all becomes gobbledegook in my brain, and the gremlins that sit on my shoulder whispering in my ear all day start chanting, "Who do you think you are to write a book?"

Which brings me back to Phil Vischer. He had a dream, a noble, God-given dream that God allowed him to achieve and then crash. In the end, he found that it was all nothing unless God came first. Writing a book is a noble dream, especially when it's a book about God. But if you're not doing it with God it's not going to be worth the paper it's written on.

A book will come when - and IF - a book is supposed to come. My job until then is to work on the tasks in front of me, even if I'm writing entertainment reviews and commentary about Anna Nicole Smith.

I'm hardly a loser. God doesn't make losers.

Why am I sad about Anna Nicole Smith's death?

I have to admit that I was saddened to hear about the death of Anna Nicole Smith. I’ve never been a fan of her lifestyle and antics, but it was clear from all reports that despite all of her notoriety and fame, the blond bombshell was one lonely woman.

Her death brought her everything she seemed to want. Speculation about the cause of her death was headline news, and rumors about her estate seem to imply she could be worth millions. Everyone from Hugh Hefner to PETA has expressed sympathy at her sudden passing.

And yet her life was no bed of roses.

People who knew her said that she was distraught over the death of her son, Danny, last fall. She was embroiled in a court battle over the estate of her late husband, millionaire oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II. The paternity of her five-month-old daughter is being disputed in court.

As a mother, it makes my heart heavy to think about the grief she must have been struggling with, especially over her son's death. And any new mother knows that the months following the birth of a baby are both happy and extremely stressful. Put the two together, add in a hefty dose of media coverage, and you’ve got a recipe for mommy bedlam.

I keep asking myself, did anyone reach out to her? Did anyone take just a moment to tell her that the things she’d been striving for - fame, money - were just vapor? Did she know that no matter what people said about her, no matter what mistakes she’d made in the past, no matter where she was right now, that Jesus loved her?

In a story at FoxNews.com, the Rev. Marcus Sheffield, pastor of First Baptist Church in her hometown of Mexia, TX, had this to say about her: "Anna Nicole is not somebody we consider one of our own, one of the great citizens we're proud of. If people connect her with what Mexia is, I'm not proud of that."

Maybe not proud of her behavior, but, dang. Shouldn’t the Baptist preacher at least show some compassion for her as a person? Or is there only judgment from all corners?

I wish I could better verbalize the compassion I have for this woman. I didn’t approve of her lifestyle. And yet isn’t she just like me? Like you? Haven’t you been lonely, searching for your identity? Hasn’t there been a time in your life when you went looking for love and happiness in all the wrong places? Haven’t you ever got exactly what you were looking for, only to be miserable? Don’t you seek peace, redemption, a second chance?

In a 1992 interview with Larry King, Anna Nicole Smith said of the husband who was 63 years her senior: “I've never had love like that before. No one has ever loved me and done things for me and respected me and didn't care about what people said about me. I mean, he truly loved me and I loved him for it.”

I think she only wanted what every other woman wants. Love. Respect. Security. Her failing was in searching for her identity by the world’s standards. Our failing was in not showing her where true purpose and identity is found, for feeding the media circus that gave her momentary attention.

I heard a radio talk show host say that Anna Nicole Smith sought attention her whole life and that she couldn’t go back and complain when she got it, that when you put your entire life out here for the media you get what you’re asking for.

That might be true, but I also know that, thanks to Jesus, you don’t always have to get what you deserve. If we had prayed for her as often as we pointed fingers at her, maybe she would have found what she was looking for in life. Instead, her life is being replayed scene by ugly scene, speculation by demeaning speculation.

I don’t know why, but that really makes me sad.