I love Donald Rumsfeld - he doesn't take any nonsense from reporters & he doesn't pull any punches (I should be sleeping, but as usual, I'm being distracted after stumblng across the Defend America website, where you can read transcripts of press conferences). Here are a few things that made me chuckle:

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Remarks following Senate Appropriations Committee Hearing - Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Q: Mr. Secretary can I ask you a few questions on another topic about Guantanamo Bay detainees. The first question is do you believe it’s possible al Qaeda may infiltrate the U.S. military and second how do you respond?

Rumsfeld: Let’s do one at a time it’s late in the day.

There are a lot of reports in the press and we do not have -- I do not have any conclusive information about the circumstance of the individuals that are being speculated about and given the fact that it’s a legal process and I dropped out of law school I think I’ll refrain from opining.

Q: Can I ask then how do you respond to the charges that the screening process for people in contact with detainees is too relaxed?

Rumsfeld: Clearly throughout the history of mankind, they’ve always been individuals who have gotten through screens and done bad things. They’ve also been people who go through a screen not intending to do bad things and arrive at some point later and decide they’re going to do bad things that are harmful to the intent of the activity. So I guess how do I respond? I respond to the fact that history can repeat itself, what will be the case in this instance we don’t know.

Thank you. Oh you want another question?

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Secretary Rumsfeld Remarks at the All-Volunteer Force Conference
Wednesday, September 17, 2003

"The men and women in uniform today are, as I’m sure the people in this room know without question, is the finest military in the world and I would say probably the finest military the world has ever seen. This concept of an All-Volunteer Force has been a booming success, it works. I suppose the most enjoyable job I have as Secretary of Defense is to be able to go out and meet with U.S. troops, these young men and women all across the globe and look them in the eye and thank them for the fact that they did volunteer, they did step up and say send me. They made that choice to serve their country, to put their lives at risk, to preserve freedom in this country and that’s a wonderful thing. It is a great strength for the Armed Services. We may have the most precise weapons on the face of the earth and we may have the most lethal capabilities and vast resources to call on but clearly the greatest resource we have is the character and the courage and the spirit of the men and women in uniform."

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"I know that everyone in an era of 24 hour news everyone would like everything to be solved in one 24 hour cycle but life isn’t like that ..." - Donald Rumsfeld

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Sunday, September 14th, following Face the Nation:

"But you know there’s always – if you’re in positions like this there are always going to be people who disagree, that’s fair enough. Right now there’s a big debate over how many U.S. troops should be in Iraq and I’ve been interested in the debate notably for it’s lack of quality. The meetings I have with all of the military Commanders say that they have sufficient U.S. troops in Iraq, that is to say General Abizaid, General Sanchez right down to the Division Commanders. Now they are the experts, there’s a few people outside, some retired people who think that it would be nice to have more but no one explains why or what they would do or how it would work. In fact, our military Commanders look at it very carefully, very seriously, they review it periodically and I must say I am comfortable with their decision. In my view that doesn’t make me stubborn it simply means that I’ve consulted the proper military authorities who have knowledge and the people who are claiming that they’re wrong it seems to me are really functioning without the kind of information and the kind of knowledge that the military Commanders have."

If you're ever looking for some inspiration, check out the Defend America website, and particularly the soldiers' profiles page.

I posted this story on my music blog that might be of interest. I found this completely disturbing.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY, CASSIE!!!
Right now, you are offically 18 years old! You're a great kid, and I love you!
Mommie

It's a difficult thing, this growing up, letting go, spreading your wings. Both for Cassie and for me.

We've been joined at the hip most of her life, and even though David is the greatest Dad I could have ever hoped for, Cassie and I have always shared this amazing bond.

We love, we fight, we play, we laugh, we do our nails. When she's sick, I make her fruit plates and rent Labrinyth. She picks out my clothes and critiques my varying attempts at current hair styles.

Lately, though, I have to admit that things have been a little rocky. Like for about 8 or 9 months. Whatever we talked about turned into an argument. For the first time, she didn't want to hang out with me. My friends have told that it was normal, and that it was pretty incredible that it took until her senior year in high school for her to put me at arms length.

Cassie spent most of the summer away - in Mexico on a missions trip, in Florida with my sister, working, out with friends. So when she went to school, it kind of felt like another week long venture, she'd be back soon. Franky, we needed the break from each other, and it was time for her to spread her wings.

I was worried about her going away at first, given some of the arguments we had. For the first week or so, she didn't want me to IM or email, and argued with me every time we talked. But things have settled down now and she's doing fine.

So am I.

I've realized that while I don't agree with everything she does, she does have a good head on her shoulders and knows right from wrong. I worry about her, though. She hasn't learned that lesson that big mistakes don't happen overnight, but come after a series of small mistakes. One day you wake up and wonder how you got there. But I'm understanding that we all have to make our mistakes, and I just pray that God keeps her safe and keeps her from any big ones. Sex, alcohol, and tattoos included.

She's picked a pretty good group of friends. Her roommate is a sweetheart, and Cassie says she and Amanda appear to be only two of a few students with what she calls "any morals". Good for them both. She's met a boy (my mother says she's 18 tomorrow and it's about time, but I say wait! Until you're about 30!). Chad seems like a nice guy, and she keeps emphasizing that they're best friends, so I'm hoping she see's that that's way better right now. She's doing well in school - although David says he wants to see good grades before he believes she's really studying. I think college has been such a huge transition - spiritually, physically and emotionally - that I'll be happy if she passes everything.

So Cassie has spread her wings. But what about me?

I've had lots of free time on my hands, and the use of my car whenever I want (well, now that I have a car that runs I do). But it's taken me a while to get used to the fact that I pretty much can come and go whenever I want. I've been sleeping in late, writing at odd times, and generally making poor use of my time as I get used to having all this time to use.

I admit I'm feeling free now that I don't have to pick her up at school, and that I have a car in the evenings when she used to be working, but then again, I'm less organized without something specifically scheduled to do.

I've been picking up lots of writing jobs, lately, and I think that having the freedom to write when I want (at 11:50 pm on a Sunday, for example) is a real blessing. But I wish I was more disciplined to write every day. When I was getting up with Cassie for school every day at 6:30 am, I would write until 10 or so and then go back to bed for an hour. Now I just get up at 11, which is much less productive.

But our nest is a little empty for now, and I miss Cassie, her arguing, her laughing, her messing up the house. I've also realized that I am way messier than I thought. I always assumed it was just her junk I was picking up, but under her stuff was mine. (David, of course, never has any junk around ever ... except some magazines ... his toys are all in the basement and garage where they can pick up the smell of mold and dirt, which apparently is a good thing for a hunter ... )

But I also realize that my life is changing. It's fun to go see Cassie (and we do often), and I know she misses us, but I'm starting to enjoy this freedom to be me. Shoot, I'm not that old (having celebrated the 9th anniversary of my 30th birthday this past May), and I am basically embarking on a new career. Who knows what the next year will hold for me?

Anyway, I'm glad that Cassie is doing well. She turns 18 in .... well, now! And despite all the changes, good & bad, I am looking forward to having the baby bird come back to the nest.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AUNT HILDY!
(surprise!)
love, Joanne

A couple stopped me on my way out of Big Lots to ask directions to a pizza shop. After I had leaned in the car window and directed them down the street, the wife told me that I looked like Monica on Friends. OK, I've lost count now of how many people have told me that over the years. (Weird, I always thought I looked like me ... ) Anyway, people always say that's a compliment. But given the fact that I believe I am older than Courtney Cox, she must look like me. I wonder how she'd feel about that ....

So I’m sitting here at Starbucks, with my handy dandy new AlphaSmart. The girl who works here gave me my coffee for free because she had to make me wait all of 60 seconds while the decaf brewed. She made my day. I gave her $1 tip.

I should be writing my story about downhere, but I’m having difficulty trying to combine several articles into one new article.

So why not just ramble a bit instead?

I’m listening to the table next to me talk about Bob Lonsberry, and WORK 13, and how there’s no such thing as a .tv website, and how one of the men went to the Channel 13 website and “voted” on whether WHAM should keep Lonsberry (the guy voted no), and how unscientific it was (because he kept voting and voting and voting) and how the news was reporting the results as fact, like it was some big news to him that the news reports non-fact as news. Duh. Welcome to the media of the 21st century.

Another observation: Starbucks sells CDs of music, with a different artist every month. Ironically, the artist this month was Johnny Cash. The girl said that they had had the CD on the counter for several days before he died. Weird.

(OK, we interrupt this musing to report my first AlphaSmart inquiry by the triple-voting man at the table next to me. “I think I’ve seen this,” he says, we chat about the gadget, and then he says he didn’t mean to disturb me …. Back to our regularly scheduled rambling)

I enjoyed the writer’s meeting last night. My neighbor Flow came with me, and my friend Dodie also showed up. We informally agreed to try and encourage each other to keep writing regularly, maybe set a goal each week and then check in with each other to make sure we’re doing it. Dodie said she went home after the meeting and wrote 200 words. In her words it was “ridiculous stuff” but at least she wrote. Good for her. As Ray Bradbury says, if you write a short story every day, at the end of the year, you’ll have 365 short stories, and some of them have to be good. (That’s a paraphrase for the record.)

Anyway, I was supposed to do a phone interview today, but the artist was delayed at another interview. I’m really bad about having tunnel vision when I have an appointment. The interview was supposed to be by phone at noon, but I couldn’t do anything before that, and when we realized we’d have to reschedule, I was stuck until my next appointment at 3. I am not a good multi-tasker, I guess.

At 3, I went to WDCZ to record a commercial/testimony for Mike Holbein and Hoselton, where I bought my car. Driving into the parking lot, I hit a huge dip in the road and the front of my lovely, freshly painted bumper scraped the pavement. Nice. I haven’t even had the car for a week. Although I think there’s something wrong with the CD player, too.

Hey, I’m really bummed: all month I have been waiting for September 19th, which is Talk Like A Pirate Day. For whatever reason, it came and went and I missed it. Arrgghh. My one chance to talk like a pirate and have some fun and I missed it. David said I should just declare tomorrow Talk Like A Pirate Day and talk like a pirate tomorrow, but it’s not the same thing. The 19th was the official day. He said no one would know the difference, that it’s not like it’s an official Hallmark holiday. But now you would know, wouldn’t you?

(OK, I did it. I have almost finished my article. I was dying the entire time to go home and check my email, or do a word count, but the goal here is to use this to write, and do the editing at home. I think I’ve had my first success. Now I can go home, edit, word count and be finished!)

OK, so here I am with my new Alphasmart, wanting to write…and drawing a total blank.

Isn’t that always the case?

There are a bunch of things I could be writing about.

There’s that outline for Breakaway, and prep for the Kelly Minter interview. I have an article on downhere to write for True Tunes.

I could do a commentary on why Bob Lonsberry is suspended from WHAM. (Bob Lonsberry has offended pretty much everyone at one time or another; why does the mayor of Rochester have influence over the radio show?)

Or how about those parents in Greece, who are upset because their kids have to walk ½ mile to the bus? ALL the kids in ER walk to school because there are no buses - that’s as much as 2 miles for many kids, and across busy Fairport Rd and Washington St.

The nice thing is that I get to write about this while I'm perched on my couch, and without the cost of a laptop. Total bill? $235. It runs on 3 AA batteries, weighs about 2#, and does all I need it to do.

There’s a few things that I still need to get used to. I wish it had a delete key, and I have accidentally erased some stuff I was playing around, but in the end, I think this will give me some flexibility in my writing. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll head to the coffee shop to write … or stay in bed with a pot of tea and my Alphasmart.

Now that’s an Alphasmart perk!

Ode to a ‘93 Corolla

It’s been a long, strange journey, dear friend. And you’ve been faithful to the end. Every morning, sun, snow or rain, you’ve purred to life, always ready to carry your family to destinations unknown.

Reliable. Dependable. (OK, so there was that “Season of the Alternator”, followed by the brief “Episode of the Battery”. But they were short storms, and easily remedied. For the most part.)

Remember when you came home with us, all fresh and new? That was 10 years ago. Hard to believe, isn’t it? We were so excited! We’d never had a new car, and it took a long time to decide which car to bring home. In the end, the best set of wheels won.

Even then, we knew you’d be around for a while. Driving home that day, we joked to The Girl that she’d be taking you with her to college.

And it almost happened. If it hadn’t been for the leaky piston ring.

Blast, those pesky piston rings.

Frankly, I blame myself. And David, of course (it’s always his fault, isn’t it?). If we’d only been more careful! Paid more attention to the warnings you gave us that you were thirsting for some TLC.

But we didn’t, and now here there you are, sitting in the driveway, stripped of your ID tags.

So naked and forlorn.

And dented and scratched. Of course, that began when Cassie got her license, but let’s face it. From the beginning you took the brunt of abuse. Only a week after you came home, someone dented in your front quarter panel and left you in the parking lot without so much as a note.

Alright, I admit it. Even before Cassie was driving there were dings. Look at the dent in the back quarter panel. Remember when I backed into that Jeep in the parking lot? You stood up like a trooper to that SUV.

Remember when you took us to Key West? We just decided on the spur of the moment to go. How we took for granted that you’d get us there without nary a sound! You didn’t even object to having the dog prowling around in the trunk as we packed, and then hanging her head out the back window all through North Carolina. In fact, you welcomed that frisky canine with open windows. Let her scratch on the seats, drool out the window, and shed all over your nice velour seats.

And how about all those trips to Canada? Cassie and I cruising the QEW to Toronto, zipping around traffic. You even got us safely through that freak snowstorm in Barrie, ON.

You’ve been there through thick and thin, and watched us grow as a family. Last October, you saw me burst outside of my comfort zone when I drove to PA for that concert. It’s only because I knew you’d get me there safely that I even had the courage to keep going.

I admit that I’m feeling more than a little guilty that you’ve been replaced by a Nissan. The Dog walked around it yesterday and then stood at your door waiting for a ride. In her mind, the word “c-a-r” will always and only evoke memories of you.

The question now is where you’ll go to spend your last days. The rust can be fixed, and the dents repaired, but your engine has pretty much given up the ghost. Maybe it’s time you’re retired. You’ve done your job well, taken car of The Family, set the standard for the car that takes your place.

Even so, there will never be another ’93 Toyota Corolla like you. You have been a blessing to our family.

Rest in peace, little subcompact.

It's been an interesting week, and I was reminded how God is always there, and how he shows himself just at the right moment if we're willing to just talk to him.

David got his bonus check last week (yeah!) and less than 24 hours later, my car died (a moment of silence, please). David was bummed that we had just gotten this very lovely check and now were needed to spend a chunk of it on a downpayment on a car - right when we were expecting Cassie's tuition bill. I was happy that the check came before the car died.

I haven't had a car payment in about 5 years, but David needed a vehicle last year so we took out a loan, and we've borrowed some money to cover Cassie's tuition - I'm not looking forward to adding more debt, when we'd been debt-free for so long. It's kind of creeping up on us.

Riding home from the dealer earlier this week, I told David that I really don't want to go back to work for someone else just so I can buy a car, and I mused that if I could only make enough writing to cover a car payment, I could keep writing and get a car without feeling like I was strapping us financially. We decided that a payment of $150 was doable, and I wondered aloud if God could keep me busy enough to cover that.

And you think God isn't listening all the time?

No sooner were the words out of my mouth (and I mean within a few hours, and totally out of the blue), the editor of a national music magazine asked me to do a small piece of 400 words @ 35 cents a word, paying in February. That's $135. Then I got a call from another magazine, who decided to buy an article I wrote for $200, which pays in the next month or so, and take another on spec, which would run and pay in early 2004. I'm waiting for payment from my regular column for the past couple of months (they come in one check), so there's another $150 payable in the next 30 days, and then again by the end of Dec. Any day I should get a check for $125 from another magazine, and one from Canada (I don't know how much that will be for, since the Canadian dollar is worth about 25 cents in America, ha ha).

That's car payments through the end of the year, and into early 2004. But it gets better.

When I was the credit union, I asked about refinancing David's loan or adjusting the rate, because the rate now is so much lower, and they said refinancing can be a hassle, but if we were willing to keep the same payments, they'd just lower the rate instead of going through the hassle of refinancing. With a quick click of the mouse, the rate was lowered from 5.79% to 3.99%. We'll pay the loan off a few months early, saving several hundred dollars.

Not only that, but when I called the insurance company to ask about rates on a sporty little coupe I test drove, they said it would only increase our insurance by about $16 every six months - but now that Cassie was in college, we got a discount, which saved us $50 every six months.

I think sometimes that we assume that talking to God has to be in fervent prayer, down on our knees, with weeping and sweat pouring off of our bodies. And certainly, fervent prayer is the hallmark of communication with God. But I wonder if in our everyday lives, we take for granted that God is simply waiting there for us to talk to. I didn't think twice about calling my best friend for car advice; why not shoot the breeze with God about what my options are.

He already knows what's going to happen anyway. I think maybe he's just waiting for me to ask so he can show me what's in store.

Now, if I can just find a car, I'd be all set!

I decided yesterday that if I could make $200 a month writing, I wouldn't have to get a job. And I don't want to get a job. The fact is, I need to make enough for a car payment - and my car just died.

I think the problem I have is that while I write $200 worth of articles each month, I don't get paid that month - and sometimes never. (I'm still waiting for a check from April & I've stopped holding my breath ...) And while my regular column pays $75 a month, I usually get two months in one check so by the time it comes I'm behind on some payment or other.

One problem that I have is that I get overwhelmed being in the house by myself all day. OK, so I have the dog and cat, both of which are fine company, but I need to get out of this little cave I call my office. I have assignments, or ideas that would probably sell, but I get discouraged being here alone. My schedule lately has been sleeping till 10, wandering around the house all day thinking about writing, talking about writing, reading about writing, and sometimes writing, waiting till 4 pm and having tea and HoHos while I watch Oprah, and then watching Judge Judy until David gets home. Is this what my life is going to be like for the next 20 years? How sad. But I can't sit at the computer in that tiny room all day!!!

Enter, the AlphaSmart 3000. For $235, I have ordered a funky word processing/mini computer/gadget that I can take with me anywhere I go and write. It's not a laptop, but it gives me the same freedom. It has a full keyboard and a small screen. I can write (no distractions of email and the internet), download files to the PC when I get home and go from there. I think this will allow me to write and still get out of my house. I can take it to the library, the coffee shop, even my front porch. It's gotten rave reviews from writers. Let's see if it helps me do the things I want to do. I'm hoping that my own laziness doesn't interfere yet again.

Good news today: I ask, and God answers. My friend Mike has taken over as managing editor of a music 'zine, and asked me to do a feature. It's nonpaying right now, but he plans to change that soon. Mike and Paula are incredible advocates for paying a writer his/her worth, so I'll write for free for them because they will never take advantage of me.

And I got an email from the editor of a national music magazine I've written for, asking me to do a short featurette on a new artist. And it pays!! Not until January, but who cares. By then, I'll need the money, I'm sure.

Alice looked at the note attached to the cover of the book: “Read Me” it said.

The last note she’d gotten, attached to a cookie, said “Eat Me”, and when she’d taken a nibble of the sweet she’d grown to the size of a house.

Did she dare heed this note? If she did, would her brain explode inside of her head? Or would she simply fall fast asleep?

Perhaps she’d invite the Mad Hatter over for lunch and ask his opinion. Surely he would know what to do.

She put the kettle on to boil and sat down to contemplate her dilemma.

Ahhh, the joy of being easily distracted. I've logged on several times to journal, but each time have been sidetracked by reading other people's blogs.

I spent almost an hour today reading the blog of a man who enlisted in the army and is keeping a daily journal. Apparently, he is a photographer by trade, and for reasons unknown had enlisted in the military. It's interesting to get a daily look at basic training - the grueling physical training as well as the incredible psychological demands placed on recruits. I am indebted to the men and women who volunteer to serve our country. I think we forget that the hundreds of thousands of soldiers volunteer to serve - there's no draft, kiddos. These people willingly sign up to leave home, jobs, family and a comfortable lifestyle to train and fight to protect our freedoms, most of which we take for granted. While I'm sitting here in my jammies, free to make a fresh pot of tea, watch David Letterman, or write on my PC, thousands of America's best and brightest are living in conditions we can't even imagine to keep the peace and protect our borders.

So today say a prayer for the men and women in the military, that God would protect them as they protect us.

And that's my lecture for today.

I've said in earlier posts that I make it a point to try and read some classic literature every summer. And I usually end up reading a lot over the summer anyway. This summer I finished Main Street, by Sinclair Lewis, and I'm currently reading Elmer Gantry. I read (for review) Shoofly Pie, by Tim Downs (very good & well done) and a horribly boring & trite Christian fiction/romance by a well-known author (so I won't mention it by name, but she's written something like 25 books, so someone likes her writing). I also reread the entire Mitford series by Jan Karon; The Captain and the Enemy, by Graham Greene; Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert, and The Cross and the Switchblade, by David Wilkerson. Seems like I've read more....worked through The Handbook of Magazine Article Writing (why write a magazine article when you can read about writing one?). I just got my order from Amazon.com with Damn! Why Didn't I Write That?; Your Life As Story; and Guerrilla Publicity.

The thing I've gotten so far from Damn! Why Didn't I Write That? is that any crazy idea can be a best seller, and that you don't have to write a best seller to make money writing a book. The writer gets about $1 or $1.50 for each book sold (hard to believe, with a $19.99 cover price), so if you sell 10,000 books (which is what the publishers are hoping you'll sell), you could make as much as someone working at McDonalds. Theoretically. Or you could bomb out and never recoup the advance and spend the rest of your life writing articles for obscure trade publications at $25 a shot.

Actually, if you pursue writing like a business, you can make money. Many publications will pay an experienced writer a hundred dollars or more for a story. But you have to pursue the leads, send dozens of query letters each week, follow up those letters, and most importantly, write (which seems like a "duh" but you'd be surprised). It's much easier to think about writing, or talk about writing, or even read about writing. But write for a business? Unless you come up with a literary blockbuster like "Zip! Pop! Hop! And Other Fun Words to Say" (256,500 copies sold), or "Why Cats Paint" (179,000 copies sold), or "The Beanie Baby Handbook" (3,000,000 million copies sold - and it was self published!) you're going to have to actually work at writing.

And you thought writers had it easy because we could go to work in our pajamas.

Today, someone posted this quote on the Fellowship of Christian Writers list - it's the essential job description for writers:

"Writers don't make any money at all. We make about a dollar. It is terrible. But then again we don't work either. We sit around in our underwear until noon then go downstairs and make coffee, fry some eggs, read the paper, read part of a book, smell the book, wonder if perhaps we ourselves should work on our book, smell the book again, throw the book across the room because we are quite jealous that any other person wrote a book, feel terribly guilty about throwing the schmuck's book across the room because we secretly wonder if God in heaven noticed our evil jealousy, or worse, our laziness. We then lie across the couch face down and mumble to God to forgive us because we are secretly afraid He is going to dry up all our words because we envied another man's stupid words. And for this, as I said before, we are paid a dollar. We are worth so much more."
--Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

When I had my husband read it, he laughed and said, "So you writers are all alike, huh?"

Today I emailed my former professor from St. John Fisher College, Mary Loporcaro. I had a question about something, and I told her to let me know if she ever needed anyone to come and talk to her class about what a freelance writer does all day. I told her I'd have to come in the freelance uniform: pajamas. She wrote back and said that students routinely show up for class in their pjs so I'd feel right at home! Hmmm, future writers, I wonder?

Whenever I tell someone that I'm a writer, the first question they ask is "What have you published?" When I tell them numerous newspaper and e'zine articles, they usually pause, nod, and change the subject.

As if you can't be a writer if you haven't ever published a book. Please.

Although I admit that I sometimes feel a little like a poser. Can you be a REAL writer and scribble articles about the newest punk CD, or wax poetic about the latest Christian romance novel? Wouldn't I be a real writer if I wrote a book?

The truth is - and this is a secret - that I have a couple of book ideas that have been gathering dust for a while. One, on anxiety, is probably at the stage where it could be turned into a decent book proposal. Except that I learned that a fellow writer in my online group is ready to publish a book on the same subject.

Or how about the guide to short term missions trips? It's such a good idea, there are 4 recent books on the subject.

I joked with my friend Karen, who lives in England, that we should collaborate on a book of British slang. That would make lovely dinner conversation. Like the phrase "are you taking a piss?", which basically means "are you joking?" (pulling my leg, kidding, etc.)

I think I have enough of a unique slant on my anxiety and missions ideas to actually do a proposal. In fact, I probably have an outline, introduction, and at least one chapter ready on anxiety.

Or I could move on to another topic. I'd love to write my Aunt Hildy's story. She's currently translating a book about her grandmother, who was convicted of killing her husband in 1923. Aunt Hildy's life & search for her family's stories would make a great Lifetime Movie of the Week.

Or how about my idea for The Chicken Diaries? It would chronicle my beginnings in freelance writings, complete with my inquires like, will there ever be a Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul?

Perhaps the easiest thing to do would be to keep track of all my ideas, and in a few years publish a bunch of story synopses and call it Books I Never Wrote. That's easier to envision.

Any publishers interested? :)